Dead Man Walking

I've never felt so helpless.  All day i knew it was coming.  The stares and the short conversations all led me to believe today was going to be the day.  Every time the door opened i expected to hear my name called.  They waited until 3:45....almost a full day of work.  

The door opened and my name was called.  I was asked to join the Director of Operations and the CEO in the conference room.  "I'm sorry we have to do this,"  and that was it.  I lost my job.  I was a statistic, one more number added to the hundred of thousands who have lost their jobs due to the economy.  Sure, it's a layoff and not a firing but the end result is the same.  I don't have a job on Monday which means I'm not making money anymore.  (side note:  have you ever looked at the job loss reports?  They are always in rounded off numbers.  I just find it a little interesting.)

You start collecting your belongings and then start saying goodbye (at least I wasn't escorted out of the building by security.)  The many frustrations caused by some are forgotten.  You realize you spend more time with these people than almost anyone else in your daily life.  Some people cry...I tried to keep it together but was unsuccessful.  It just came from some place deep down inside me.  There was no stopping it, no matter how hard i tried, and i tried pretty hard.  The car ride home wasn't much different.  Lots of emotions i didn't even know i had kept pouring out. It didn't help that i was stuck in traffic trying to get from Boulder to Denver.  It was my first job...i learned a lot about business;  both what to do right and what not to do - both valuable.  I spent the last three years, Monday through Friday showing up and working hard and now it was over.  I think that's what really got to me and hit me hard.  The finality of the situation.  I was never going to work there again.  It was over.  It didn't matter that i was happy and ready to move on.  It didn't matter that i was frustrated most days when i left the office.  It was over.   

So...what next?  

On to bigger and better things.

Ringo Starr at his best...Peace and Love, Peace and Love

I've always wanted to but neve have Part 2

What have i always wanted to do but never have...?  

1. Scuba dive
   
2. Travel to London, Japan, Australia/New Zealand, Russia, Germany
3. Disappear to a tropical place for a couple months - maybe even set sail and visit a couple different places...ALL TROPICAL.  Desireable places include the British Virgin Islands (Virgin Gorda in particular), Tahiti, Koh Samui
4. Fly a plane
   
5. Eat at a sushi restaurant that serves Fugu, the deadly blow fish
6. Go to culinary school (or take classes)
7. Pick someone elses nose (not really)
8. Write a TV show (I have a couple ideas stored in my small head)

Scientology

Everyone's doing it, maybe i should too!  oh wait, maybe not.  That's what i have to say about Scientology.  Is it even a religion?  I'm not sure and that's not the point.  What i don't get is how it attracts so many people.  And not just average Joe's either.  I'm talking about top 1%.  Let's be clear, I'm talking about the top one percent in terms of wealth not mental capacity.  Actually, to narrow it down even further I'm talking about the Entertainment industry.  First there was Tom Cruise who i actually liked.  Top Gun, Risky Business, Rainman, Jerry Maguire...All classics!  And yes, i included Jerry Maguire which i actually liked, so deal with it.  Then came John Travolta who like Tom not only decided to be a Scientologist but needed to tell EVERYONE!  I swear it's like a little cult and I'm not alone in that feeling.  You should see the compound they built in Los Angeles; It's incredible.  So the most recent convert who can't keep their mouth and opinions to themselves is the voice of Bart Simpson, Nancy Cartwright.  An unlikely advocate for a religion, i know, but it's true.  Here's a link with the recording, http://www.thrfeed.com/2009/01/bart-simpsons-scientology-recording.html

She's been calling some people and leaving this message in the voice of Bart Simpson.  I'm sure Fox isn't too pleased and she might even get a visit from their very friendly legal team.  

SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Notable and sometimes shocking Scientologists:

I was very dissapointed to see Giovanni Ribisni's name on the list along with Doug E. Fresh (mostly because we share a name.)

• Kirstie Alley actress

• Sonny Bono musician and member of U.S. House of Representatives (R-Palm Springs) (deceased 1998)

• Jeff Conaway actor
• Tom Cruise actor

• Jenna Elfman actress

• Doug E. Fresh musician and actor

• Isaac Hayes musician and actor (deceased 2008)
• Katie Holmes actress (raised Catholic), introduced to Scientology by Tom Cruise while they were dating.

• Chaka Khan singer

• Jason Lee actor
• Geoffrey Lewis actor
• Juliette Lewis actress

• Priscilla Presley actress
• Lisa Marie Presley singer
• Kelly Preston actress and wife of John Travolta

• Giovanni Ribisi actor

I've always wanted to but never have

Have you ever had a boss or coworker you can't stand?  There's probably not a single person that can honestly answer that with a no and if you do say no, i bet you never had a job.  Careerbuilder.com launched a viral ad campaign that allows you to send anonymous emails to your boss or coworkers.  Here's the website in case you're interested http://www.anonymoustipgiver.com/

I think this is a particularly dangerous time (for boss's that is) to give employees the ability to honestly speak their minds.  I mean, how many times have you wanted to blow up when your boss strolls in at 4:45 with a new project he needs finished by morning.  The worst part is you know he's not going to read for at least a week.  I can't tell you how many times i have looked a coworker squarely in the face, smiled and said thanks when all i really wanted to say is, "really?  it took you how long to figure that out?  Did you really just ask me that?  I CAN"T BELIEVE THEY PAY YOU MORE THAN ME!"  

Not that i would ever do this but theoretically you could send an email to your boss using the service and try to make it sound like it came from a coworker you don't like and hope your boss thinks it's him/her.  muah ha ha...that would be evil...

Obamarama!

Dear Obama,

I understand that you are in a tough position right now.  You inherited a catastrophic financial and economic landscape.  The newspapers read like nothing I have ever seen in my lifetime.  On Monday a headline read, "Bloody Monday:  over 70,000 Jobs Lost."  That's in one single day.  We are only 28 days into the New Year and over 200,000 jobs have disappeared and they are being cut from many of the once prominent, strong, "American" companies like Caterpillar, Microsoft and Pfizer.  So, what is the solution?  I have no CLUE!  I'm not going to solve the financial apocalypse in this post.  That would be pretty dam ambitious.  Plus, if I could I certainly wouldn't be making this measly salary working for a company hell bent on running itself into the ground.  Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that in school we were always told to learn from our mistakes.  When you got a problem wrong on a homework assignment the teacher would say well, learn from your mistake and get it right on the test.  Well Mr. Obama...you are about to propose a stimulus bill to congress that is close to 900 BILLION dollars.  That's only 100 billion away from a trillion which, until fairly recently was an almost inconceivable amount of money.  Think about it, 900 billion is NINE HUNDRED THOUSAND Millions!  I mean, these numbers are just staggering.  Anyways, back to my point.

            1.  Last year Bush signed a 200 billion dollar stimulus package.  Most Americans received a check between $200 and $1,200.  Bush called the package "a booster shot for our economy to stave off a recession."  Well, first of all, we were already in a recession at the time the Bill was signed but more importantly it hasn't prevented the economic situation we are in now.  The checks were sent...with good intent...people spent...but to the extent it was meant to prevent...we still went into a decent.  Sorry, I don't know where that came from (but I kind of liked it).  Anyways, below is a picture of good 'ol Bush signing the bill.  Look at how proud he is of himself.  

 

 

           

Ron Edmonds / AP

2.  Keynesian economic policy is based on the idea that the solution to depression is to stimulate the economy ("inducement to invest") through some combination of two approaches :

• a reduction in interest rates.
• Government investment in infrastructure - the injection of income results in more spending in the general economy, which in turn stimulates more production and investment involving still more income and spending and so forth. The initial stimulation starts a cascade of events, whose total increase in economic activity is a multiple of the original investment.^[1]

Wikipedia (i realize it's not the best source but i'm working with a limited amount of time here)

Keynesian monetary policy is a short term strategy not a long term solution.  FDR implemented the New Deal which built massive infrastructure and created tens of thousands of jobs.  This was great if you didn't have a job but didn't bring us out of the Great Depression.  The other problem with massive government spending is the fact that eventually someone has to pay back the loans.  REALLY!?!?  Yep, and by someone I mean my generation (I’m 25).  Bush left us with the largest budget deficit in history and we are about to pile on trillions more.  In the end, the government should look out for its citizens and help where possible.  Job creation during an economic recession of this magnitude is warranted but we shouldn't become complacent and expect stimulus packages to get us out of this mess WE created.  Like I said earlier, if I knew how to fix this mess I wouldn't be sitting at my desk writing this rant (even though it's more fun and interesting than working). 

We need to learn from the past and have a plan for the future.  Education needs to become a national priority.  So, in conclusion Mr. President Obama, don't spend money for the sake of spending money.  Sure it looks good on paper and people will certainly appreciate it but there are real consequences.  Go ahead and propose this stimulus package but please have another plan hidden away somewhere.

      Doug G. (I voted for Obama and i'm still happy I did) 

Why ask Why, try Bud Dry

I spend most of my day sitting in front of a computer.  I once had a great view looking at the flatirons and Colorado Rockies.  Those were the good old glory days.  I have since been relegated to an office with a view of a shed.  And it's not just any shed; it's a rusty, off white, very uninteresting shed that takes up the entire window.  So, instead of staring out the window when I’m bored I scour the internet for interesting information.  Well, actually it doesn't need to be all that interesting.  You try to find 8 hours a day, 5 days a week worth of interesting information on the internet, its tough!  I usually start my day looking at the usual suspects, a little NYT.com, some digg.com, gizmodo.com, engadget.com, autoblog.com and some slate.com.  Let's not forget the all important Dilbert comic of the day.  Sometimes it hits a little too close to home (I work with a number of engineers who have many of the same quirks and problems).  That's when I shed a small tear.  

So the other day I was thinking, I read blogs, sometimes all day, I should be able to write one that people will be interested in.  I mean, how hard can it be?  So here it goes.  The blog begins.  It's going to be all over the place.  I like politics, I’m fascinated with the economy, especially the financial apocalypse we're dealing with right now, I’m going to post links to funny stuff I find all day and I’ll even talk about some personal stuff which might be interesting because I really don't like talking about my feelings.  So here we go...

P.S.  I started three other posts before this one.  Turns out this blogging thing is harder than it looks.  

I'm an idiot

I can't remember ever being called an organizational master.  In fact, I can't remember anyone telling me I have an organizational bone in my body.  I like things to be neat and organized and once in a blue moon I motivate but it's almost always short lived.  In the end, I’ve never had too much of a problem being unorganized.  Things always seem to work themselves out and they probably will but over the last couple months my disorganization really caught up to me.  IN A BIG BIG WAY.  

I went to Los Angeles for Thanksgiving.  It was a great time.  Side note:  I don't know why I feel obligated to say it was "great."  In all honesty it was just pretty good.  It was average.  Nothing special but no big blow ups with the parents.  Anyways, back to the story.  The trip to LA was fine.  The flight back to Denver was fine.  The moment things weren't fine was when I reached into my briefcase and didn't find my keys.  "Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic...PANIC!!!!"  The keys were gone.  I tore through my suitcase, fully knowing that they weren't going to be there.  I remembered back to a trip I took with Matt and Alexa.  Matt thought he left the keys in Alta but I assured him he would find them.  I was right....I knew he would find them because he is responsible and organized.  This is how I knew that I was not going to find them.  I am often a mess and this was a classic example.  My car is now stuck at the airport and I’m in a taxi on my way to Denver.  A light bulb went off (a more accurate description of the light bulb is my Dad sending me a text) and I decided to rent a car.  What's the most a car can cost for 2 days?  $100, $150?  NOPE, $300 dollores!  I looked at the guy like he was crazy.  He started explaining the charges to me.  100 dollars a day for the car, 50 dollars a day for an airport surcharge.  I told him my sob story and asked if there was anything he could do.  He looked at me with a huge smile and said, "Well, I can upgrade your car to a larger size!"  I wanted to jump across the counter and strangle him.  Sure, a bigger, nicer car is better than the alternative but it certainly doesn't make it any less expensive.  I took a deep breath, bowed in submission and handed him my credit card.  

The next 2 days were our company kick off meeting for the year at a local hotel.  The second day culminated with cake and brownies.  I was thrilled!  I love cake and cookies...oh wait, no I don't.  I don't really have a sweet tooth so it's easy for me to ignore the goodies.  The moral of the story is that my boss heard that I was going to stop by the office on my way home.  She asked if I would mind dropping off the cake on my way home.  I told her no one was going to eat the cake and that we should just throw it away.  But NOOOOO, she insisted.  I reluctantly agreed.  I had a new coat in one hand and the cake in the other.  I somehow managed to open the car door.  I leaned over to put the cake on the floor when the paper plate it was sitting on broke in half.  Now I’m pissed.  Really pissed.  A favor for the boss has quickly turned into a nightmare.  I have frosting on my hands, new jacket AND rental car.  I took a deep breath, cleaned it up, threw away the rest of the cake, drove Back to the airport and dropped off the overly priced rental car.   

Next came the Christmas incident.  I was looking forward to going to Sun Valley, Idaho to catch up with some family friends and family.  I was going to be there for 10 days skiing, drinking and relaxing.  It was going to be perfect...that was until I decided to attend a close friends holiday party the night before.  One thing lead to another and it was 3:00 AM.  I wasn't packed and started to stress.  And let me tell you, a stressed, drunk person trying to pack is a nightmare.  In the end I gave up and decided to finish in the morning.  

The morning came...I woke up.  It was light outside.  I’m blind in the morning without my glasses but new sunlight shouldn't be coming into my room.  My head was hurting.  No, it was killing me. During the night a MAC truck plowed right into the frontal lobe AND the right side.  I grabbed the clock and pulled it toward my face.  PANIC, sheer panic.  How could I be such an idiot?  10:45 AM!!!  How am I going to explain this to my parents?  I'm so screwed, this is the biggest travel week of the year, and there are no flights!  I spent the next 6 hours being jerked around by the airlines.  I must have talked to half a dozen people before I was able to rebook on another flight.  This was after they told there wasn't a seat available until December 27th which isn't very helpful if you are trying to get somewhere for Christmas.  In the end, I made it and had a wonderful time.  Sure, I was berated for sleeping through my flight but I deserved it.  

During the months leading up to this moment I had been studying for the GMAT.  It's a stressful experience.  No matter how hard or how much I studied I still found questions that were just mind boggling.  I came to terms with the situation and wasn't too stressed.  The day had arrived.  It was January 8th.  It was a Wednesday.  I was prepared, at least as prepared as I was going to get.  I scheduled a day off of work.  I ate a healthy, nutritious meal the night before.  I went to sleep early.  I did everything right....at least I thought I did everything right.  I showed up to the testing center which is like fort nox.  They take your picture and they scan your fingerprint.  I walked up to the sign in desk and proclaimed in confidence, "I am Douglas Greenspan and I'm here to take the GMAT."  I was ready to go.  She looked at her list.  She scanned it again.  I realized that it was taking longer than normal (whatever normal is seeing that this was the first time taking the test).  She looked up and said, "John?"  I said no.  My heart sank like an anchor. She flipped to another page, looked up at me and said very matter of factly, "Oh, you were scheduled for yesterday at this time.  We have you marked down as a no show."  A NO SHOW!  Really!  But I’m here now, isn't there something we can do!  10 minutes of trying to persuade her got me nowhere.  I left, I was demoralized.  How am I going to explain this one to anyone!  An hour went by and the text messages started coming in.  "How did the test go" read one of them, "let's get a drink and celebrate" read another.  All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and forget that it ever happened.  I get back to my apartment.  I'm standing at my apartment door, number 807.  It's time for some quick thinking.  It's a little embarrassing to admit but I even said to myself, "Doug, get it together, this is when you shine.  When shit hits the fan you usually figure something out."  I reach into my pocket.  I grab my key chain.  I pull it out and look to grab my apartment key...it's not there.  I reach into my pocket...nothing.  I look in my wallet just praying that it somehow, miraculously might be in there, my blood pressure is starting to rise.  NOTHING.  I slouch into the corner and put my head into my hands.  I DON"T HAVE THE KEY!  I'm internalizing everything that has happened over the last couple months, leaving my keys in LA, missing my flight to Sun Valley, all of the studying for the GMAT and missing the test AND NOW THIS!  

I couldn't find a single available test date in all of Colorado for the rest of the month.  I needed to take the test (I didn't want to forget everything I had learned).  I ended up booking a flight to LA leaving the next morning.  I took the test and had a blast in LA for the rest of the weekend.  In the end, everything ended up working itself out.  Let's hope I learned something from all of this.